“I don’t talk about that time of my life. You know that!”
“That’s the thing, Ben. You do talk about it… but you just don’t tell anyone the truth.”
He stood up, slowly.
“Ella, we’ve talked about this.”
“You need to let this go. Do you have any idea what that would do to me if you repeat it? You don’t understand how complicated it was.”
“I understand that you let people think Rachel was responsible for her death.”
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“I didn’t let anyone —”
“You told me that she lost control!”
“You need to let this go.”
His eyes finally flared, and for the first time, I saw something I hadn’t before. It wasn’t rage, nor guilt. Maybe nervousness?
It was like the story was slipping and he couldn’t catch it fast enough.
“I’ve lived with that night every day,” he said. “You don’t get to judge me.”
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“You made her the villain in her own ending.”
**
“You don’t get to judge me.”
I stayed long enough to pack properly. This time, there was no panic in it. Just clarity. I didn’t even cry… for some reason, I just couldn’t.
Before I left, I placed our framed wedding photo face down on the dresser. My ring sat on the edge of the bathroom sink.
I drove without music past our grocery store, our favorite coffee shop, and the house with the red door that Ben said reminded him of Italy.
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At a red light, I opened my phone and typed her name.
I didn’t even cry…
Alison.
I hadn’t saved her as anything more than that. But when she answered on the first ring, I could already feel the tears forming.
“Ella?”
“Can I come over? Please?”
“Of course. You don’t need to ask,” she said, giving me her address.
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“Can I come over? Please?”
Alison’s house was small, older, and yellow with peeling trim. But it smelled like cinnamon and chamomile. She hugged me at the door and didn’t let go until my shoulders finally dropped.
We sat in her living room, knees pulled to our chests, tea steaming between us.
“I packed everything I could. I left the ring behind. He hasn’t stopped calling and I don’t know what to do…”
“You don’t need to explain yourself, hon. I’ve been where you are.”
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